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Jailbird (Sound of Silence Series, Book Two) Page 5
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Page 5
“What?” She jumps to her feet. “What?”
She and Grayson meet around the table, hugging and laughing. Spencer wipes away happy tears as Stony says, “Great news.” After the commotion, they take their seats again.
I never left mine.
“How, Grayson?”
“I just told the Army I needed to be close to my brand new niece and they understood. It was their top priority to see that it happened.”
Grayson laughs at his own joke, the happy sound filling the room. What a goof. I’m a fly on the wall, observing this happy family as if I’m not even here. I can’t help but wonder about a man who makes life decisions based upon where his niece and sister are living, especially when I have a father who abandoned his family. It says a lot about the kind of man he is and I admit, he interests me, even if he is Spencer’s brother.
HUGE downside.
However, I love knowing that there are men like him out there. They’re just really hard to find. Grayson helps me maintain my hope.
He sobers slightly. “Actually, I found out there was an opening as the Army Liaison Officer at Dyess Air Force Base and since not many people are chomping at the bit to live in Abilene, Texas, I got the position easily.”
“That’s amazing. Do Mom and Dad know?”
“Yep. I asked them to keep it quiet and let me surprise you with the news. They’re excited about us all being together for Christmas this year.”
Spencer gasps as everything begins to sink in. “Me too. It’ll be Sophie’s first Christmas.” Spencer wipes away a few more tears. “Sorry, pregnancy makes me an emotional mess.” Stony puts his arm around her and pulls her close.
“Is that what’s doing it?” Grayson chuckles and Spencer tells him to shut up.
“Wait. Sophie? Is that what you’re going to name my niece?” Grayson asks.
Spencer smiles through her tears and Stony answers for her. “Yes. Sophie Grace.”
“I love it.” Grayson continues to eat heartily. “I approve of my niece’s name.”
I sigh. I’m having a hard time mustering up much enthusiasm. My chest is burning and the raging fire is spreading. I know my cheeks are red and a flash of heat covers my body. I notice the pity in Stony’s gaze and I hate it.
“What would we have done without your approval?” Spencer tells him sarcastically and Grayson flashes his pearly whites at her. The man doesn’t stop smiling. It’s annoying—and yet he’s pulling me in without even trying. What must it feel like to be that happy?
I’m picking at my food, trying to act as though I’m eating, but really I’m just pushing my food around on my plate. My appetite has left me. It’s too bad because Spencer is clearly an amazing cook. She’s an amazing everything.
Ugh. Just ugh.
Grayson looks around the room, taking everything in. “Seriously, Spence. Do you guys actually live here or is this a model home?”
I look down at my lap and wonder how his thoughts can echo mine so easily, as if we’re on the same wavelength and tuned into the exact same channel.
So what if we think alike? It doesn’t mean a thing. Not a single solitary thing.
“We both like a clean house.” Spencer rests her head on Stony’s shoulder. His hand gently massages her arm, up and down. The PDA is starting. This is unbearable.
“This place isn’t clean, it’s disgustingly clean. I’m not okay with that. I feel like a bull in a china shop.”
Yeah, me too. I’m worried about spilling a crumb.
Spencer just smiles at his words, the face of utter contentment.
“Hey, I’m gonna need some help finding housing. There’s a long waiting list to live on base. I’m not interested in something temporary, anyway. I think I’d rather go ahead and purchase the home I’d like to stay in after I leave the military.”
“You can stay here, Gray. You know that.”
“I appreciate that. But it’s an awful long commute every day, Spence. I’ll grab myself a hotel room in Abilene until I find something.”
Stony runs his hand through Spencer’s hair, distracting me. “My mother is in Sweetwater. She’d love to offer you a room in her home until you find housing. Matter of fact, she’d be offended if I didn’t offer.”
Everything inside of me is suddenly frozen.
Spencer says, “You’ll love her cooking, Gray.”
Grayson brushes it off. “No need, the Army pays me well during a move. A hotel will do.”
Stony encourages him further. “She’ll feed you until you feel like dying—in a good way—and the commute is not bad from Sweetwater.”
What? I glare at Stony. If Grayson lives in Stony’s mother’s home then he’ll be across the street from me. Not okay. That’s too close for comfort.
This is agonizing. I need to get out of here.
“Excuse me, may I use the powder room?”
“It’s just down the hall,” Stony says, even though he just showed it to me a couple hours ago. I guess we’re pretending like that never happened.
I escape down the hall and close the door behind me. I bring my hands to my face and my cheeks are burning hot. I glance in the mirror and see a woman I barely recognize, a woman who has allowed life to knock her down. I need to somehow climb out of the hole I’m stuck in. If someone could just toss me a rope first.
I turn to use the restroom and pause. I’m just down the hall from where everyone is having dinner in a silent house. I don’t want everyone to hear me pee, but if I turn on the fan, will they think I’m hiding other sounds? Or worse, smells? It’s the classic fan dilemma. To fan or not to fan? Now I’ve waited too long. I should’ve just flipped it on the moment I entered. Now it’s obvious.
I decide I don’t care. I flip on the fan and let the sound make me feel as though I’ve escaped into privacy.
This is intolerable. Stony. Spencer. Sophie Grace. Jailbird. Grayson living across the street. My sick mother. My absent father.
Why does life hate me?
I return to the sink and wash my hands in the hottest water I can stand, as if I can somehow cleanse my soul through washing my hands. I glance in the mirror again, taking in my dark hair and dark brown eyes. My flushed cheeks and glossy eyes. My bottom lip trembles slightly. I’m a wreck.
I need to pull myself together. I finger comb my long hair and splash a little cold water on my cheeks.
Okay, enough stalling. Time to face my life.
I begin to walk down the hall and freeze when I hear my name. I forgot to turn the fan off and I turn to go back when I change my mind. Are they talking about me? With the fan on, they think I’m still in the restroom. Do I want to hear what they’re saying?
Yes. Yes, I do. I admit to it readily. I walk down the hall a little more until I’m just close enough to remain out of the sightline of the table, but still close enough to hear what they’re saying.
“So, why does Mia look like her cat just died and someone ate all the cookies in the cookie jar?”
That’s Grayson. His manner of speech can only be described as colorful.
Stony says, “She’s had a rough go of it.”
That’s putting it mildly.
“Why? What happened to her?”
What follows is a silence so loud, it hurts my ears. Then Stony says, “Uh . . . I think it’s best if Mia tells you about her life. It’s hers to tell.”
Thank you, Stony.
“Why do you ask?” I hear Spencer question.
“She’s a beautiful girl and I’m a single white male looking for a soulmate who loves long walks on the beach and eating ice cream on a cold winter’s day. Who knows? Maybe we’re a match. Wait, she is free, right? I didn’t see a ring. And I assume you wouldn’t try to set me up with someone unless they are available.”
“I . . . I wasn’t trying to set you up with Mia,” Spencer says, sounding a little subdued. “She stopped by unexpectedly and we invited her for dinner.”
“Oh, okay. My bad. But she is free, right?”<
br />
“Are you interested?” Spencer asks.
“Yeah, are you kidding? She’s gorgeous. A little on the quiet side and a little . . . I don’t know . . . sad. But she had me at hello. I’d love to get to know her.”
His words are met with silence. But they can’t be quite as stunned as me. I wasn’t expecting this. At all.
I can only imagine what is going through Spencer’s and Stony’s minds at this moment. I know they both want me to move on and be happy. But moving on with Spencer’s brother might just hit a little too close to home. For me as well as them.
“What? What’s wrong?” I hear Grayson ask.
“Mia is Stony’s ex,” Spencer announces finally. “And there’s some history there. Like Stony said, it’s best if you hear it all from Mia.”
“Oh, sorry, man. I didn’t know.”
“No problem,” Stony says. “She’s a free agent. It was a long time ago. If you want to pursue Mia, I’m fine with it. Just tread carefully. She’s fragile right now.”
I frown for many reasons. I sort of wish this wasn’t so easy for him. Welcome to present day life. And fragile? Am I fragile?
I don’t want to answer that question.
“Spencer? Are . . . are you okay with it?” Grayson asks. “If you’re not comfortable with it, please say so.”
She takes a little longer to answer. “You know what? Yes, of course. If that’s what you want, then go for it. Just don’t expect us to be best friends or anything. That will never happen.”
At least she’s honest.
Grayson laughs. “Says the woman who invited her husband’s ex to dinner. Insisted on it. What were you thinking, Sis?”
“She was trying to make the best of a hard situation,” Stony answers for her. “I love you,” I hear him whisper. The sound still has the power to send daggers through my heart. I wonder if it will always be like this.
“Knock it off, you two. I’m still here.”
The PDA is happening. I’m glad I’m not witnessing it.
“Anyway, if this will cause family drama, it’s not worth it. Forget I asked,” Grayson says.
“No,” I hear Spencer say firmly. “I am perfectly fine, as you can see. If you’re feeling it, then go for it.”
“By the way, she lives across the street from my mom,” Stony says as if he’s dangling a carrot in front of a rabbit.
He’s encouraging Grayson. Ouch. If I was sitting next to him right now, I’d give him a friendly punch on his shoulder, the way I used to when we were young.
“Really? Well, that’s an interesting turn of events. I’d be able to see her every day and get to know her. I think I’d suddenly love to take you up on your invite to live with your mom.”
I turn away and retreat. I don’t want to hear more. I need to catch my breath in the bathroom. No one is asking me how I feel about the situation. The answer is NO WAY. I refuse to date Spencer’s brother. Amongst other obvious reasons, I don’t want another man in my life who is enamored of the perfect Spencer. I’m already taken with her myself.
But I have to admit, in other circumstances, I’d jump at the chance to date a man who is so . . . what’s the word I’m looking for? Sunny? Cheerful? Enchanting? I don’t know. His smile is contagious and I felt good just sitting next to him. It’s such an unfamiliar feeling.
Stony has a great sense of humor, but he’s an intense man. He always has been. Spencer has tamed him, but it’s still there, an almost inexplicable aura of mystery. I always wonder what he’s really thinking. It’s part of his allure.
Grayson is the opposite. He’s so . . . casual and easy, almost an open book. I haven’t thought much about the kind of man I’m looking for, but I think I just realized I want someone who is a bit spontaneous and impulsive. Someone who will make me laugh and not take life so seriously. That’s exactly what I need; someone who lifts me up. I also need a good family man—that part is non-negotiable. I can’t go through what my mother went through.
But not Grayson. No. Just no.
I flip off the fan and walk down the hall. The tempting chocolate cake is now sitting on the table. Grayson is kneeling next to his sister. Stony and Grayson have their hands on Spencer’s stomach. Stony actually smiles and says, “Ah, that’s my girl,” when he feels the baby move and kick. It’s an appropriately subdued response.
Grayson, however, hops to his feet and walks in a circle around the room, laughing as though he can hardly contain himself. “Oh my gosh. That’s crazy. I’ve never felt anything like that before.” Spencer takes his behavior in stride, but I’m fascinated by this man who wears his heart on his sleeve. His enthusiasm intrigues me. He’s so . . . alive.
“That is amazing.” Grayson kneels down and puts his hand back on her stomach and waits for another kick.
I am so DONE. Stick a fork in me and all that.
I clear my throat. Grayson looks up and casts me a blinding smile. I feel like I’m looking directly at the sun.
He needs to go away.
“I have to go now. My mother needs me.”
“Is everything okay?” Stony asks.
“Yes, it’s just my turn to sit with her. I need to relieve Blake.” Not really. I do days and he does nights, but they don’t need to know that.
Why didn’t I think of that excuse earlier? Maybe deep down I didn’t really want to leave. Regardless, for my own peace of mind, I need to leave now.
“Have a slice of cake before you go.” Grayson swipes his finger through the frosting and licks it. He does it two more times before Spencer swats at him. I’m sorely jealous and my mouth waters. There’s ample evidence we think alike and it spooks me. I need to stay as far away as possible from Grayson Elliott.
“No, thank you.”
Spencer stands. “I’ll see you out.”
Stony says, “Goodnight, Mia.” His deep voice is quiet, yet firm.
Grayson echoes with, “Nice to meet you, Mia.” I don’t acknowledge him and it’s hard not to. Those simple words were said with gusto and I want to respond so much it kills me.
At the door, Spencer faces me, holding her bulging tummy. “I’m glad I was finally able to meet you, Mia. Take care.”
She’s sincere and I can’t dislike her. Stony is in good hands.
“Thank you, Spencer. For everything.” I emphasize the word everything. Then I take my leave.
Finally.
CHAPTER
Five
THE NIGHT AIR hits me and I breathe it in as if I’m starving for oxygen.
Actually, I am starving. But not for food or air or space.
I’m starving for love.
Regardless, I will forever appreciate the ability to go outside and enjoy fresh air whenever I feel like it. Freedom is precious.
“Mia, wait!”
I turn to see Grayson walking quickly toward me. “I’ll walk you out,” he says.
There goes my great escape. I was so close. “I’m good. You don’t need to walk me out.”
“I don’t mind.” He stuffs his hands in the pockets of his jeans and walks at a sedate pace. I feel as though we are out taking a casual walk instead of simply walking to my car. And I’m in a hurry to get the heck out of here. The grounds surrounding Stony’s house are beautiful and a constant reminder of his “happily-ever-after.”
“Would you like to walk around for a bit? I love all the sidewalks Stony has added. The yard is almost like a park.”
“I really need to get home.”
“Ah, I’m sorry. I conveniently forgot.”
I wish I could forget everything. It would be nice to start anew, to have a clean slate.
“So, tell me about you, Mia.”
“Not much to tell. My mother is sick and I’m home to take care of her.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Me too. Sweetwater is not my favorite place.”
“No, I meant I’m sorry that your mother is sick.”
Of course. Shake off the nerves, Mia. Otherwise you’
re going to make a fool of yourself. “I knew that.”
In my peripheral vision, I notice he shrugs. “If I say anything that makes sense, you probably misunderstood me.”
I’m silent as I work that statement out in my mind. I know he’s being funny, but I’m wary of him. Everything inside of me is screaming at me, warning me to be careful around this man. He’s dangerous in ways I can’t even begin to fathom. “Ralph Waldo Emerson said that to be great is to be misunderstood.” I used to have a poster of the quote in my classroom.
“I must be pretty darn great then.”
He’s a tad self-effacing and I like his humility. “Actually it has to do with being different from the majority of the people around you, of having new and fresh ideas, which makes you a great thinker, but misunderstood by many.”
“I hadn’t thought of it that way. Guess I misunderstood.” He laughs at his own joke, but I remain quiet.
“What about you, Mia? Are you misunderstood?”
I’m about to say no, but then I realize that I am definitely misunderstood by every person in this awful place. I decide upon a generic response. “Aren’t we all?”
“Yeah, I guess so.” He’s quiet for a moment. “Hmmmm . . . what can I ask to know more about you? I’m pretty sure taking care of your mother doesn’t define you.”
He’s right, it doesn’t define me. Yet, I can’t think of one more thing to tell him about myself. Besides forbidden topics, that is. Am I letting that night with Stony define me?
Yes, yes I am. And I shouldn’t be.
“Hmmmm, let’s see. Oh, I’ve got it. This is important. What song do you sing the most in the shower?”
What? Of all the questions in the world, that’s what he wants to ask me? He really is a goof.
I secretly love it. He makes life seem light and silly. I wish it could be that way for me. “I don’t sing in the shower.”
“That’s a crime.”
“If you heard me sing, you would think it was a service to all humankind.”
“That’s the point of singing in the shower. No one else can hear you and the acoustics are amazing.”